Surprise.

So, if you know me at all, you know I really love surprises. Most of the time. Being away at school has presented me with some rather strange and not really "good" ones, (like everything Laura is and does for example) but still.

Sunday morning, I went to the kitchen for breakfast and I noticed things missing. And in the bathroom Laura's side was basically empty. I figured she was just going to stay at her grandma's house or something since she has done that before. I went on with my day. Monday we had no school, so I took a mental health day and laid in bed and slept most of the day. I kept waking up to Laura being loud in her room, blasting her music and banging these around. I thought nothing of it. Seriously guys, nothing she does catches me off guard anymore. Or so I thought.

At about 4, I groggily walked into the kitchen to make myself a late lunch and Laura was cooking pasta, baking cookies and muffins. AKA carbs. AKA my form of heaven. She offered me a muffin and I took 3. I started talking with my mouth full of that goodness to her about the ward ski thing we were invited to and she was saying how she wanted to go but something came up where she couldn't spend money on that, even though it was only going to cost 12 dollars for a rental. Conversation topics changed, and I brought up how I don't know if I am coming back after this semester and how Utah just kind of sucks. And Laura's like "yeah, I won't be either...I'm actually leaving like...soon."
Me: "What? You're moving out?"
L: "Yeah, I didn't want to tell you! I kept putting it off, though. It's just, me and Arlando (black boyfriend) have been talking pretty seriously and I just wanna be home now instead of school. I wasn't going to come back after Christmas break, but I wanted to just try and finish out the semester, but I'd rather go back to my job and be with him."

(side note: I just sneezed so loud I probably shook the entire library. I laughed at myself because it was so loud and people just looked at me like I was a freak. No one blessed me. Jerks. Anyways, back to the conversation)

Me: "So...are you going to move in together? Oh my gosh this is crazy!"
L: "Yeah, that the plan. We just have to save up money first. But, I think we're gong to get married."
Me: "Laura this is so crazy! That'll be so awesome for you! But...I'm going to be alone..."
L: "That's why I was scared to tell you...but you get all this too yourself! All this food in the cabinets are yours! I'm making all this now so I can hurry and eat it all before I leave, but you can have the rest!"
Me: "Wait, when are you leaving?"
L: "Sometime this week. I still have things to pack. I'm going to take a Greyhound and then take a road trip with Arlando back here and get the rest of my stuff."

The conversation went on about her plans and how she felt bad about the good opportunity that she is skipping out of (being the out of state paid tuition waver that I have) but I stopped paying attention. I just kept thinking 'YES. I can walk around with no pants on. I don't have to do her dishes. No more shopping carts in my house. No more dreads. No more drug offers. No more getting locked out (hopefully). No more sharing my stuff. No more cookies in the living room.' I was so psyched. I had to hide my smile while we were talking behind my excitement for her doing what she wanted. I mean, I am actually legitimately happy for her, but more for me.

The more I thought about it, the more jealous I got of her. I would love more than anything to go home right now. Stop going to classes, get away from the cold, go home to be with my boyfriend and family. But, alas I can't quit. I never have been able to just not finish something halfway through. I have bought textbooks already anyways, so I didn't want that to be any more of a waste of money than we all know it already is.

Then I realized. My blog is going down the crapper. Now I have to pull from my own experiences of living alone.

Alone. I then realized how much I hate being alone. I went from 2 roommates to none within 3 weeks basically.

Good thing I have watched enough scary movies to really keep me entirely freaked out over every noise my apartment makes over the next couple months. Ahhh, great.

Pray for me.